petits gamins

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I was going to post about pulled pork tonight.

But. I am bad at timing. It won’t be coming out of the oven until 1:45 am.

So instead I am listening to country music and eating fruit. See?

this particular variety of fruit is rich in “sirop de glucose,” “sucre,” and “gelatine amidon modifié de mais” — all of which I am assuming are French vitamins.

In French, apparently, these are called petits gamins… or “little street urchins.” Really, French?

please, help yourself to some more orphans. (is this just a Quebec thing?)

Oh hey, also, cool thing I came across when uploading those photos: I caught a bass. Like, a fish.

AND THEN I ATE HIM. (but actually.)

So, sorry. That’s all I have for you. (Please don’t unsubscribe.)

greek-ish salad, sort of

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This isn’t exactly a Greek salad, so let’s call it… based on a Greek salad. Inspired by a Greek salad? Whatever you want to call it, it is summery, healthy, and delicious.

  • 4 medium tomatoes, cubed
  • 1 cucumber, cubed
  • 2 avocados, cubed
  • 1 small red onion, thinly sliced
  • 3 cloves garlic, crushed
  • olive oil
  • balsamic vinegar
  • italian herb mix
  • agave syrup (or if you don’t want to be a pretentious brat, maple syrup or honey or another sweetener)
  • salt and pepper

Combine everything in a bowl. For the olive oil, balsamic, herbs, sweetener, and s+p, you kind of just have to eyeball it… add a bit of everything, taste, adjust, taste again, repeat.

Stir it up and, if you have time, put it in the fridge for an hour or two to let the flavours come out. Then devour with something BBQ’d. (My favourite thing about this salad is how the avocado breaks down a little and coats everything, so it is a creamy dressing but still totally good for you.)

it is really hard to get fat eating this, but you can try.

sukuma your wiki

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Well, I’m still running into a few consistency challenges with these kale burgers but who has time to wait for perfection? Just eat your greens.

Sukuma Wiki Burgers
makes 4 patties

stay together for the kids

I adapted this from a couple different recipes for spinach burgers, adding my own flavours and using sukuma wiki — Kenyan kale, literally meaning “stretch the week” since it is extremely inexpensive and therefore popular with those who need to stretch their grocery budgets. (Lots of people here hate it because they ate it so much as kids, but it’s way more nutritious than the staple “fill kids’ bellies” food in Rwanda: green bananas.)

Kale is a lot coarser than spinach, so I did significant tweaking from the recipes that used spinach… therefore I don’t know if this is backwards compatible with a spinach substitution. If anything, I used more liquid because I think kale’s stiffness requires more sticking power, so if you want to try this with spinach maybe err on the side of less wet ingredients. Also I think maybe the spinach in those recipes was supposed to be cooked, and my kale was raw. So… yeah. Have you decided yet that you don’t trust me, or this recipe, at all? LET’S JUST COOK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. With sesame oil and parmesan in a frying pan it is doubtful this will taste bad.

Combine in a bowl:

  • 1 + 1/2 c roughly chopped kale (packed)
  • generous 1/4 c grated parmesan (plus a slice to eat while you cook)
  • 1/4 c chopped coriander
  • 4 green onions, chopped
  • 1 tsp garlic powder, or to taste
  • 1/2 tsp ginger powder, or to taste
  • chilli powder to taste
  • ground black pepper to taste

Toss those ingredients to combine well, then add:

  • two eggs
  • 2 tsp tamari
  • 1 tsp sesame oil

Mush it together with your hands! Once everything is goopy and fantastic, slowly add:

  • 1/2 c breadcrumbs (approximately… just add until it seems like its the right consistency to be burger-ified.)

Set the mixture aside. Add to a skillet over medium heat:

  • olive oil or other fat for frying — these suckers soak up oil, so add the amount you’re willing to ingest. The more, the crispier.
  • a few drops of sesame oil

While the oil is heating, make your burgers.

This is where I ran into technical difficulties. It can be hard to make your little burgs stay in one piece. I roughly formed each burger as a ball in the palm of my hand, and then placed it on a chopping board and really pressed down to make it all flatten out and stick together — then transferred it to the frying pan with the spatula. Once it hits the heat of the pan, everything on the outer surface binds together, so it holds together pretty well… the hard part is just handling the raw burger.

Fry 3-4 minutes each side in a covered pan. Watch carefully — mine burned. (Both times I made them. Ok now you definitely don’t trust me.)

Enjoy with your leftover Spiced Lentil Rice from last night, and a side of smugness. You are eating kale burgers, you are so healthy. (Just exercise selective memory when it comes to how many “one more small one” slices of parmesan you ate while you were waiting for the burgers to cook. Ahem.)

kale patties + spiced lentil rice with yogurt and curry powder on top + the tail end of a lonely cucumber = dinner