That warm smug millennial feeling when I get my weekly personalized @PresChoice points offers and they're mostly for vegetables and fermented foods. (Also cat kibble.)

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 27, 2018

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Oxford comma. https://t.co/CSBm9Erf5y

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 25, 2018

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Actual transcript of what just happened.

Boyfriend, standing at the door before leaving for the drug store: "Siri, I need to make a list… Stuff I need to buy right now… Chicago mix. Ketchup chips. Tampons." #itsamatch

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 20, 2018

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Back and more brilliant than ever. @SachaBaronCohen like @rickmercer's "Talking To Americans" on steroids. @Showtime https://t.co/JduardXFRT

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 15, 2018

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You buy ONE pair of socks for your dog and all of a sudden @amazon is suggesting you buy a "canine DNA test" #demographics @mikemwalsh

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 15, 2018

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BOSS. https://t.co/o2Q0iTwrpI

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 14, 2018

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America, I have tried to be patient, but now we're done. https://t.co/tvkNv8bhTz

— Rosemary Quipp (@rquipp) July 13, 2018

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